Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
