Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
