just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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