i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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