watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
