he shaved USA in his pubs
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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