He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
