happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
