is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
