i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
