Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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