well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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