We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
