hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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