i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
