508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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