Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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