I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
