I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
