Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
