on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I look better un-naked...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
