Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i now understand why vodka
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
