Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
