I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
