i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
