Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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