Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
