New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
