hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize