i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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