everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
