Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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