what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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