your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
