planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
