talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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