is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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