the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize