Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
