I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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