Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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