You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
