You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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