someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
