How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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