How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
