You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize