so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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