Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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