definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
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