apparently the secret to your success is patron
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This show inspires me to have sex in space
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
