we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I intend to get homeless drunk
you will always have a special place in my vag
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
