I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
