You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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