I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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