just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
third nipple confirmed
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
