i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sext me about skeletons
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
